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The Worlds of Gilbert and Sullivan

This Music Hall song was written by Thomas Le Brunn, and composed by George Le Brunn, and published in 1893. The Music Hall, its music and its stars would have been well known to Gilbert and Sullivan. This song was made famous by the great international star, Marie Lloyd (her real name was Matilda Wood), who squeezed every ounce of fun (and innuendo) out of it - keeping her audiences in stitches! 

She often billed her appearances as containing new songs and Paris gowns. In fact she designed many of her own clothes with great care, made up by her mother and aunt in her sewing room at home! Her saucy stage antics precluded her from appearing at a Royal Variety Performance at the Palace in 1912. So she staged her own show on the same evening at the London Pavilion - proclaiming: 'Every performance by Marie Lloyd is a Command Performance By Order of the British Public'. Did she play to a full house? Well, what do you think?

Picture the scene. It is still a favourite song of Music Hall, Pub, and group Sing-along. And it is a wow round the piano at any party - Try it. Go on, give it a whirl . . .

Oh! Mr Porter
(Short Intro)

Lately I just spent a week
With my old Aunt Brown,
Came up to see the wond'rous sights
Of famous London Town.
Just a week I had of it,
All round the place we'd roam,
Wasn't I sorry on the day
I had to go back home?
Worried about with packing,
I arrived late at the station,
Dropped my hat-box in the mud,
The things all fell about,
Got my ticket, said 'good-bye',
"Right away!" the guard did cry,
But I found the train was wrong,
And shouted out . . .:

Chorus: Oh! Mister Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they're taking me on to Crewe.
Send me back to London
As quickly as you can
Oh! Mister Porter, what a silly girl I am.
(Short Interlude)

The porter would not stop the train, 
But laughed and said "You must
Keep your hair on, Mary Ann, and mind that you don't bust!"
Some old gentleman inside declared that it was hard,
Said, "Look out of the window, Miss, 
And try and call the guard."
Didn't I, too, with all my might,
I nearly balanced over,
But my old friend grasped my leg,
And pulled me back again,
Nearly fainting with the fright,
I sank into his arms, a sight,
Went into hysterics but I cried in vain:-

Chorus: Oh! Mister Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they're taking me on to Crewe.
Send me back to London
As quickly as you can
Oh! Mister Porter, what a silly girl I am.
(Short Interlude)

On his clean old shirt front then
I laid my trembling head.
"Do take it easy, rest awhile,"
The dear old chappie said.
"If you make a fuss of me
And on me do not frown,
You shall have my mansion, dear,
Away in London Town."
Wouldn't you think me silly
If I said I could not like him?
Really he seemed a nice old boy,
So I replied this way:
I will be your own for life
Your imay doodleum little wife,
If you'll never tease me any more I say:-

Chorus: Oh! Mister Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they're taking me on to Crewe.
Send me back to London
As quickly as you can
Oh! Mister Porter, what a silly girl I am.

Last time,  All together now:
Oh! Mister Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they're taking me on to Crewe.
Send me back to London
As quickly as you can
Oh! Mister Porter, what a silly girl I am.

Were you in time? Did you catch it? It was fun wasn't it? One more time . . .? 

Now on to our next Music Hall item: to titillate your delectable appetite for peace and tranquillity, relax and meet our  - But patience, that's for the main site in due course

Or would you like to visit a real life Victorian Railway hero? - Hellfire jack!

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